My experience managing mental health in 2018

Talking about mental health used to be taboo. In some ways it still is. I recently had an episode and I talk about it openly. However, I still see an uncomfortable look appear on some people’s faces.

Mental health is like any other illness.

If you have a sore tummy, people say, “aww!” and they advise you to stop eating too many bad things. If you break your leg, they plaster it and people come to sign it. So for mental illness, why can’t they say “aww!, what can I do to help?”, or “I’m just going to take away the chocolate cookies, but I’m here if you need to talk.”

Mark Meany (Senior Developer at Mercury1) says, “Take toothache; it can be prevented by following good oral hygiene. So is stress one of these things that needs to be mitigated to prevent mental health issues? Stress is part of most people’s lives. How we deal with that stress is the key. If we don’t deal with it, in the end its a big POP!”

Of course, people suffer with their minds in many different ways. I’m not a doctor. I’m a software developer and a business owner, so I can only talk about my experiences. For me it’s food. I don’t mean to say that food stresses me. I mean that when I’ve gone down the rabbit hole, I don’t go hungry!

I run a digital agency in the UK, but live in Spain. In the last two years we’ve grown 400% and taken on some really challenging projects. Last year a client, who is no longer with us, left in a messy way and threw a few undeserved insults at me because they didn’t want to pay their final bill. I took this really hard. My personality includes ‘people pleaser’ and ‘problem solver’, so a bad end to a professional relationship is like poison.

Moving to Spain, although incredible, also came with it’s challenges. I didn’t speak Spanish for a start and I’m dyslexic, so languages are my nemesis. The really tough bit, though, came when we tried to navigate the resident status, tax situation and the realities of having a UK business but living in Spain. This was a real nightmare and I still shudder to think about it. If we got it wrong, we risked paying a fine of hundreds of thousands, which of course we couldn’t afford. The worse part was that the rules weren’t that clear and the first six lawyers we talked to gave contradictory advice or said, “don’t worry about it – do nothing”. We run our business and our lives on the principle that integrity and honesty are key.

We couldn’t very well act dishonestly or put our heads in the sand.

Fortunately, in the end we found a great company who could help us – and whilst we pay a lot more in taxes and expenses than we would if we’d stayed in the UK, our conscience is clear. Plus, we get to enjoy year-round sunshine and a great social life in a friendly culture.

I love my team at work. They are all smart, hard-working, honest and nice. However, running a team of 20 can feel overwhelming. For a while I kind of ‘checked out’ and just operated on auto pilot. I guess, to those I work with closely it was obvious. I knew I was stressed but I don’t think I knew how bad. One day one of my colleagues took away all my tasks and said, “Please take the day off.” I was surprised and a little annoyed to be honest.

I thought, ‘Hey! Whose company is it?’

Later I realised that it’s not just my company, it’s everyone’s the staff’s, our clients’ and our suppliers’. Thinking about the business like that gave me a new perspective. What my colleague was trying to do was to help me.

It wasn’t until after my 38th birthday that I really did something about the stress. We were on a two-week rock climbing holiday in the UK. I was spending this time with some amazing friends and in a beautiful place, but all I wanted to do was sit in the caravan and play Candy Crush. There was a recent article I saw that said playing games like Tetris can help with stress. I can tell you that, in my case, it didn’t improve anything. The only thing it succeeded in doing was to annoy my partner and some friends because, let’s face it, if you act like you prefer to stare at moving coloured pixels on a small screen to spending quality time with people it tends to offend.

The day after my birthday I took a good look at myself in the mirror. ‘Is this who you want to be?’, I asked myself. The mirror image didn’t reply, but I realised that no it isn’t! At this time, I hadn’t worn makeup or anything except comfortable shapeless clothes for six months. For me, being depressed was a bit like spending all your time with a veil over your face. I couldn’t just be with people naturally. I thought of myself in such a negative way, like I wasn’t worth effort. I had no energy and no interest in doing anything. For me even Netflix was boring. I wasn’t bad at my job, but it was so hard and I was processing things a lot slower.

I was getting fatter by the day, so the first thing to take control of was diet and fitness.

This was my solution: Freeletics!

It’s a super intense but short workout app, a bit like Cross Fit. However this one sets you tasks, it times you, and it uses your time and technique feedback to give you a suitable next workout. I set the app to give me three sessions a week. The starting ones were less than ten mins in duration so it wasn’t hard to fit into my schedule. Boy was it tough though!”What do you mean 20 burpees?” I shouted at the app a number of times in that first few weeks. The people behind this app are definitely sadistic. However, it really works. I’ve recently set it to give me four sessions a week and have started a nothing to 5K running plan from Paula Radcliffe.

It’s also hard and a bit demotivating because I used to be able to run – now it’s more of a stagger. I know, however, that it will come, so I will keep on it. I have also returned to the indoor climbing wall. This is a real challenge for me because, although my husband is a great climber, I’m scared of heights. I’ve gone from previously climbing 6c+ to barely touching a 5a (it doesn’t sound a lot if you don’t climb but, trust me, it is a big difference). This process of returning to sports or things you did before but in much worse shape is humbling. I try to remember that there are so many people in much worse situations and I stop grumbling. I know that if I keep going – I will make it, if I stop, I’m 100% sure I won’t.

Like sport, mental health is a continuous effort – but it’s worth it.

For the really tough sessions, I’ve discovered Fearless Motivation. It’s cheesy and it’s American – but it really works. I first heard it when we spent some time in Bordeaux, France. There was this workout space with great fitness equipment full of strong people. They played Fearless Motivation and, although it initially made me laugh, I found that I smashed my PBs that day.

The power of the mind eh!

I was really lucky that I didn’t need professional help or medication, but if you do, or someone you know does, don’t be ashamed of it. If I hadn’t started my commitment to myself I would have gone to see a psychologist. If you’re not sure what you need, ask your friends or colleagues. Chances are they know there is something wrong before you do.

Agency Collective’s Daniel de la Cruz has a passion for helping agency owners overcome tough times and moments of mental instability. If challenges are coming at home with your partner, then he recommends this book. It’s sometimes good to understand what your and their attachment style might be.

If the source of stress is work, talk to someone outside of the situation but with some experience, like a mentor. They can help you see things in a different perspective and put you on a path to improve things. Daniel has also put together a document with many helpful resources for those suffering with their mental health.

Of course, sport and Freeletics aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. The thought of a 5KM run might send some people into depression. In that case find the thing that works for you. Taking a walk or going on a drive somewhere pretty could also work – as could reading a good book, watching a comedy, chatting with friends or quiet time alone. It’s your life; you pick your solution.

For me, the great thing was that although I was missed, the company and projects all carried on fine without me. So, if you’re not giving yourself time, it’s OK to take a break.

I hope that by sharing my experience, it helps others to feel more comfortable sharing theirs and getting the help they need.

Bauke authors new book on JSF

We’re proud to share that, our amazing Front-end specialist is the main author on a new book about JSF (Java Server Faces).

The developer’s guide is due to the launched in June 2018. I can tell you first hand from working with Bauke that he’s incredibily knowledgeable and helpful, so I’m sure his new book will be highly desirable to the world’s JSF developers!

You can order a copy on Amazon:

One of our clients MyTutor ( have been mentioned in the bio as Bauke’s been helping with improving their site.

Recruiting for Tech jobs, outside the box

We need to disrupt the recruitment market.

Job title recruitment just doesn’t work that well. There is a now a disconnect between traditional job titles and the roles themselves due to differences in company culture, tasks and team make up.

Take for instance ‘Senior Developer’ or ‘Project Manager’. These are really broad in terms of what tasks I could need doing as a recruiter, but also kind of narrow in terms of the type of person I would usually get replying to this job advert. I think these types of job titles have an impact on the fact that we’re not attracting new people into technology.

Compare these two job descriptions..

1. Systems Analyst

2. Challenging but fascinating role involving lots of innovation, creative drawing and team collaboration in order to solve business problems.

Which do you think has a more wide appeal? Will one pique interest in diverse candidates instead of the other?

What the “Systems Analyst” title doesn’t do is give a well-rounded idea of what kind of person you are looking for. As a company, you need to fill skill gaps in teams, both soft skills and technical skills.

Imagine that you have a team that is really good at getting stuff done, but they lack someone who will set a clear direction and is willing to challenge if the work being done goes off track? That team would benefit from the injection of a big picture thinker, someone who can communicate well with the client or customers. Also someone who has the type of personality to bring the rest of the team around to their vision if needed.

It would be pretty hard to use a traditional job title search to find that person…

Just something to think about.

Supporting female entrepreneurs with Sprinters

I’ve been involved with supporting diversity in tech roles for a long time, so it was great when I was recently asked to feature on the Sprinters blog, which aims to support and inspire female entrepreneurs.

Being given a platform to tell my own story in support of other women in business was a great opportunity, and I hope that my experiences might resonate with someone and encourage them to continue on a tough path, or even to transition to a happier one.

The interview covered some of the challenges I faced in my early career…

“When I was 24 I was the IT manager at a German manufacturing plant. They did not want me there: young, female and English; it was probably the toughest year of work I’ve ever had.

They insisted on speaking in German, which I wasn’t good at, even though they were all fluent in English. I faced roadblocks on everything that I wanted to implement, and every day felt like an impossible battle”

… but also the things I’ve learnt as a result:

“I find that the biggest help has always been to surround myself with the right people. People who inspire me and make me feel accepted, but also won’t accept half measures.”

If you’re interested in reading the interview, you can find it here.

Sprinters is a not for profit organization creating a network of empowered women who feel confident in their abilities to build amazingly successful businesses. If you’d like to get involved, we’d be happy to have you!


Bauke Scholtz (BalusC) awarded Oracle ‘Java Champion’ status

M1 and our clients already knew that we were onto a winner with Bauke, but we’re extremely proud to announce that he has been officially chosen as an Oracle ‘Java Champion’: one of an exclusive group of Java technology and community leaders.

Bauke was awarded the honour for investing his time assisting others in the developer community and progressing understandings of JSF, Java EE, and Java EE frameworks. He has previously been named as a hero of Java, and we can personally attest to the love of Nespresso coffee he mentions in his part of the hero series. All that caffeine also fueled the creation of, a  social platform built with Java EE 7 that lets people find and share high quality development and tech resources.

You can learn more about Bauke’s award here, and about Java (or Bauke himself) by following his blog or visiting his personal Zeef page.

Congratulations Bauke!

Evgeniy organises developers’ conference ‘Yappi Days’

Over the past few months Evgeniy has been hard at work preparing for Yappi Days, an IT conference he organised in Yaroslavl, Russia. Hundreds of attendees were expected to participate in a programme built around the architecture of enterprise applications, BigData processing, IoT (Internet of Things) and best practices in software development. Speakers were drawn from experts and leading developers from IT companies, and the event attracted multiple sponsors.

I asked Evgeniy to tell us a bit more about his inspiration, and what it was like to organise such a big event.

Where did the idea for Yappi Days come from?
I planned to create an IT event in my city last April. In Yaroslavl we have around a thousand developers and QAs of all different kinds – working with Java, .net, Javascript, etc – and we also have a local university that trains programmers for the market. The thing we were missing was events: we didn’t have any IT professional-oriented events for local IT folks; that’s why I started conference preparations in June.

What was your motivation for the program?
My main intention was to invite experienced speakers from other cities so that we could show developers in Yaroslavl that giving a tech talk is awesome! By both giving and attending talks we increase the value of our local IT community, and this type of event could potentially drive new IT companies to the market. Yappi Days now also provides a platform for Yaroslavl programmers to share experiences and communications in an informal setting.

I know a lot of work went on behind the scenes – were you able to relax and enjoy the day?
Well, I was exhausted Friday evening, but now I’m okay! Most of the attendees were programmers with experience from our local companies, but there was one young boy of 16 years old who approached me after the conference to tell me that he was so amazed by developers and how awesome they are. His mom said later that the boy has decided to become a programmer when he finishes school. I accidentally affected this boy’s life, hopefully for good 🙂

It sounds like it went really well?
Yes – it was the first ever full-day IT conference in the city, and to my surprise more than 300 developers took Friday 13th off and attended the event! We did some surveys afterwards, and more than 85% of the attendees said that they liked the event and the program, and 95% said that they would gladly join the event next year.

Aha, so there will be more?!
For sure – the question is: can I handle the creation of a second conference?!

Richard Branson’s stamp of approval

It’s not every day that a world-renowned business leader selects your story to tell, but that’s precisely what happened when Nat described, as part of Branson’s ‘Finding my virginity’ campaign, her experience of overcoming her fears during a recent canyoning adventure.

I can personally vouch for Nat’s fear of heights, falling, and swinging on a rope (particularly sideways), from years of rock climbing together. I’ve often wondered why, given her fears, she returns to the sport time and time again. Surely something on the ground, not requiring safety equipment or the potential to fall into the unknown would be a more comfortable choice?

Nat was, of course, delighted to be featured in Branson’s article but, more to the point, the lesson she shared is one worth repeating:  we should always try something twice, even if we don’t like it, because it’s a great way to build confidence.


Read the article here

Stemettes: Inspiring young women into tech

Monster Confidence tour Southampton

When Stemettes and Monster jobs held a joint set of events around the country called the confidence tour, I wanted to come along. So I asked if I could help at all.

I was included in their speakers panel for the audience, mostly female school and university students from local schools, to ask about our careers in STEM areas. There was a careers fair and speed mentoring sessions – I was amazed by how confident the young women were during this – so much braver than I felt when I first started networking at 24!

I was also able to help with some mock interviews, which are always fun to do.

The whole day was filled with inspiring speakers sharing their thoughts on why STEM subjects aren’t just for boys and telling their stories. I had an awesome time and you could see from the lit-up faces of the young women, that they too enjoyed the day.

We even got to meet the Monster!

I’m hoping that events like this will make an impact on students so that they are brave enough to follow education paths that might previously seemed intimidating, or boring.


If you want to get involved in encouraging more women into tech or other STEM subjects follow @Stemettes on Twitter

A princess, a racing car driver and the youth of the UK

I am always delighted to be invited to see UK Youth’s updates at Avon Tyrrell, a charity that is very close to my heart, but this year was especially exciting because September’s charity show case had a couple of very special guests: not only did I get to meet Princess Anne, I also got to meet one of my dad’s hero’s, Nigel Mansell CBE!

The young people on site were thrilled by the manner of arrival and departure manner by the Princess Royal, who landed on the lawn in a very smart navy helicopter.

Princess Anne at UK Youth
Princess Anne at UK Youth

The staff at Avon Tyrell and UK Youth showed us around the now crumpling Grade I listed house that provides such an amazing setting to the groups that use it, but is in desperate need of repair and TLC.

“Staying in the house seems a little bit like being part of a big adventure – your own slice of Hogwarts.”

The charity hopes that by raising awareness they will be able to keep offering outdoor learning and away from home services to the UK’s young people for another 70 years.

Evgeniy Kokuykin joins Mercury1

Evgeniy Kokuykin

Mercury1 have been working with contractor Evgeniy for well over a year on various projects, but, as Mercury1 is growing (and he’s awesome), we took the decision to buy out his contract and invite him to work for us directly: happily, he agreed!

Evgeniy is a highly skilled full-stack Java EE developer, with expertise in mobile applications. Having enjoyed some time together in Slovenia in July, visiting the city of Ljubljana and the coastal town of Piran, we know that Evgeniy is a great fit for Mercury1. He’s extremely intelligent, super helpful, diligent, and great to work with – so the whole team are excited to have him on board.

Over the coming months, Evgeniy will be working alongside Bauke Scholtz on front-end development for our current projects, as well as producing new versions of our clients’ mobile apps and assisting with performance improvements being carried out on some of our older projects.

We’re also proud to announce that, in October 2017, Evgeniy will be leading a developer’s conference in his home town of Yaroslavl, Russia. With over 600 attendees expected, it’s sure to be a great event: if your Russian is good and you’d like to attend, details can be found here.